


Procrastination

by sarahgirl1998



Category: Fairly OddParents
Genre: Based on a SpongeBob SquarePants Episode, Comedy, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 21:02:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21416614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahgirl1998/pseuds/sarahgirl1998
Summary: Tootie keeps getting distracted from her essay.





	Procrastination

(It is close to the end of the day at Dimmsdale Elementary School. Tootie is in class along with some other students and Mr. Crocker.)  
  
Mr. Crocker: Okay, class, quiet, quiet! (Everyone quiets down.) Now, get out your pencil and paper and write down your assignment.  
  
(The class groans in dismay, but Tootie looks excited and turns to Teddy.)  
  
Tootie: Did you hear that?! We get an assignment!  
  
Mr. Crocker: Everyone must write an essay about what not to do in class.  
  
(The class groans again in dismay, but Tootie is still excited and turns to Teddy a second time.)  
  
Tootie: Did you hear that?! What not to do in class!  
  
Mr. Crocker: (joyfully) In no less than 800 words! (squeals a bit)  
  
(The class groans again in dismay, but Tootie is still excited. This time, however, Teddy turns to her.)  
  
Teddy: (sarcastically) Did you hear that?! 800 words!  
  
Tootie: (genuinely happy) Yeah, I know! (Teddy frowns, realizing that his attempt at sarcasm has failed.)  
  
Mr. Crocker: Due tomorrow. And remember, class, work hard and NO goofing off. Or else you'll get an F! Understand?  
  
Class: Yes, Mr. Crocker.  
  
Mr. Crocker: Good! (to himself) And you’d better, because you know how much I love giving you Fs...  
  
(Cut to Tootie at home, sitting in front of her desk.)  
  
Tootie: (to herself) Okay, Tootie, no goofing off. I am about to write the greatest essay of all time. Like most great essays, it will be written... (opens her desk, revealing a stack of paper) ...on... (pulls out a paper) ...paper.  
  
(She places the paper on her desk.)  
  
Tootie: Even more important than the paper is... (holds up a pencil) ...the pencil.  
  
(The pencil is revealed to be pink with red hearts all over it.)  
  
Tootie: A pencil is as sharp or as dull as I like. (looks at the pencil) Hmm, funny. As my ideas grow, you shrink.  
  
(She kisses the pencil for a few seconds, then looks out the window. The sun is shining in a clear blue sky.)  
  
Tootie: Well, I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day to write an essay. (looks back at her paper) Okay, here we go.  
  
(She writes down the title of her paper, reading it as she does so.)  
  
Tootie: "What not to do during Mr. Crocker's lessons." Hey, this is easy! "By Tootie Walden." (finishes writing) Ha! This essay is pure gold! (to her pencil) And now, pencil, get ready to do your stuff, because here we go!  
  
(She places her pencil on the paper. Cut to her clock; the hour and minute hands revolve three times until they are at six. Tootie's paper still contains only her title.)  
  
Tootie: Gee, this is harder than I thought...  
  
(She puts down her paper and looks out the window again. There is a carnival going on; Jenny and Katie are playing tennis, Teddy is balancing on a ball and playing a horn, and Clara is playing a knock-them-down game with baseballs and milk bottles.)  
  
Clara: (calling towards Tootie) Come on, Tootie!  
  
(Tootie moves away from the window and sadly sits back down at her desk.)  
  
Tootie: It should be against the law to have to write an essay on such a super happyriffic, sunshiny day... (sighs deeply, then perks up again) But I must press onward, because with this pencil, and the completion of this essay... (muses happily) I'll be one step closer to the honor roll!  
  
(Cut to an Imagine Spot of Tootie playing with her unicorn playset in class, without getting in trouble. Back to reality.)  
  
Tootie: Oh, yeah... This'll be no problemo. Why, I've got plenty of time. (looks over at the clock) It's only 6 o'clock! Okay, here we go, here we go!  
  
(She places her pencil back on the paper, but suddenly falls face down on her desk. She is fine, however, as she instantly sits back up again.)  
  
Tootie: I know, I just need to get a little blood pumping in the old noodle! How about some calisthenics?  
  
(She stands up, then moves her arms up and down a few times.)  
  
Tootie: One, two! One, two! One, two! One, two!  
  
(Her pigtails also move up and down afterward, with squeaking sounds that also sound like her saying "One, two!")  
  
Tootie: I can feel those juices pumping now!  
  
(She sits back down in her chair and moves it closer to the desk, causing a squeaking sound. She moves it backward, then moves it back and forth a few times. She does this again at a faster speed, until she finally laughs adorably... before stopping and realizing what she's doing.)  
  
Tootie: What am I doing?! I've gotta write that paper! (moves her chair closer to her desk) Come on, pencil, make words...  
  
(Tammy comes in the room and meows. Tootie hears her and turns to her.)  
  
Tootie: Tammy! (walks up to her and gives her a hug) Hey, hey, hey, Tammy! How's my favorite kitty-witty? (puts her down) How about you let old Tootie fix you up something to eat?  
  
(Tammy shakes her head in refusal, along with a disagreeing meow.)  
  
Tootie: What do you mean, you're not hungry? (Tammy meows again.) I know I have an essay to write! Now, come on, Tammy!  
  
(She picks up Tammy and carries her into the kitchen. She pours a box of cat food into her pet dish, and eventually climbs up a ladder so that she can fill the bowl with a huge pile of cat food.)  
  
Tootie: I've gotta make sure you have your nutrition, Tammy, so I'm not leaving until you eat every single bite!  
  
(The pile suddenly lowers, followed by a loud chomp. Tammy burps out her pet dish and walks away. Tootie climbs down her ladder.)  
  
Tootie: Tammy? Are you sure you don't want some chicken treats? Or some whipped cream?  
  
(Suddenly she steps on a small drop of cat food and notices it.)  
  
Tootie: Gee, Tammy sure made a mess. I can't work on my essay knowing there's a mess in the kitchen.  
  
(She grabs a mop and a bucket, the former of which she cleans up the mess with. The section of the floor sparkles and Tootie smiles, then thinks.)  
  
Tootie: Hmm... I might as well clean the rest of the floor while I'm at it.  
  
(She hums happily as she mops the rest of the floor. Then she mops in between the refrigerator and the stove.)  
  
Tootie: (grunting a bit) I should get these hard-to-reach places, too!  
  
(Cut to her washing off some dishes.)  
  
Tootie: And these dishes need to be cleaned! (Then she is in front of a garbage can.) Can't have dirty garbage.  
  
(She sprays it with some cleaner and wipes it with a rag. Finally she looks satisfied.)  
  
Tootie: Well, I think it's clean enough now! (The entire kitchen is sparkling clean.) Boy, would I love to see the look on my mommy's face when she sees this!  
  
(She walks out of the kitchen and back into her bedroom.)  
  
Tootie: Why, that didn't take too long. (looks up at her clock) And it's only... (becomes horrified) TEN O'CLOCK!  
  
(She cringes and whimpers in fear, then becomes determined.)  
  
Tootie: No more fooling around! I've gotta get back to work!  
  
(She sits back down at her desk.)  
  
Tootie: Okay, Mr. Essay, I say... (picks up her pencil) Prepare to be written!  
  
(She dramatically puts her pencil to the paper and begins writing, along with several interchanging shots of her working.)  
  
Tootie: I'm doing it, I'm doing it! Yeah... Yeah! And some of these, and some of these! Almost there and... (She finally puts down her pencil.) Done!  
  
(She wipes her forehead with her hand and picks up her paper.)  
  
Tootie: Now, let's see how it looks so far. "The..."  
  
(It turns out, she only wrote the word "the" in what looks like an Old English font. She then puts down her paper.)  
  
Tootie: Break time! Pacing always helps me think!  
  
(She stands up and walks up and down a few times, trying to think of ideas.)  
  
Tootie: Let's see, only 799 words to go. Think, Tootie, think...  
  
(She looks over at her telephone, then at her paper. Cut to Clara in her bedroom, sleeping in her bed. Suddenly the phone rings and she wakes up.)  
  
Clara: Eek! Who is that?! (picks up her phone) Hello?  
  
Tootie: Hi, Clara! Whatcha up to?  
  
Clara: ...Sleeping.  
  
Tootie: That's really fascinating! Are you having a good sleep? Any dreams you'd like to discuss? I remember on the--  
  
Clara: Tootie, you and I both know that you're just choosing me as a distraction so you don't have to write your essay. Don't you?  
  
Tootie: (gasps) That IS NOT true! I called to have an engaging conversation with you!  
  
Clara: Well, I'm listening.  
  
Tootie: (thinks for a moment) Uh... Marco!  
  
Clara: Polo. (hangs up)  
  
Tootie: Yeah, well, I gotta get going, Clara, got an important essay to write. (hangs up) My, what a chatterbox. Can't she see that I'm busy?  
  
(She sits back down at her desk, only to see eraser pieces on her paper.)  
  
Tootie: I can't write with all these eraser shavings all over my paper!  
  
(She brushes them off with one movement of her hand, only for them to go airborne.)  
  
Tootie: Now they're floating around my thinking space. (She takes a deep breath and blows them away.) So long, pesky particles.  
  
(Suddenly they come back to Tootie, and while trying to fan them off, they wind up in her mouth and she begins choking.)  
  
Tootie: (gasps) I swallowed one! (gasps) I'm choking! (gasps) Water!!  
  
(She runs into the kitchen and hastily pours herself a glass of water.)  
  
Tootie: Water!! (She then downs the glass of water and pants a few times, feeling relieved.) That was a close one...  
  
(Tammy walks up to her and meows.)  
  
Tootie: What do you mean, overly dramatic, Tammy? All that choking sure made me hungry. (Tammy meows again.) I can't write on an empty stomach, Tammy. I gotta have my brain food!  
  
(She opens up the refrigerator and looks inside.)  
  
Tootie: Now, let's see. White or rye bread... or pumpernickel... Gee, I guess it really depends on the meat inside, and the cheese.  
  
(Suddenly the doorbell rings, causing her to look happy.)  
  
Tootie: A visitor? For me? (She runs over to the front door and answers, with a mailman standing outside the door.) Hello!  
  
Mailman: Package for Ms. Tootie. (hands her a box)  
  
Tootie: Great, thank you! So do you like delivering mail?  
  
Mailman: It puts bread on the table.  
  
Tootie: Rye or pumpernickel? (laughs) Hahaha!  
  
Mailman: (rolls his eyes) Oh, brother.  
  
Tootie: So do you deliver your own mail, or do you have your own mail person? But then who delivers his mail? Is there a never-ending chain of mailmen delivering mail to other mailmen? Well, I guess a P.O., box could, in theory, break the chain...  
  
Mailman: Don't you have a paper to write?  
  
(He walks away as Tootie cringes in realization.)  
  
Tootie: How did he know I'm supposed to be writing an essay?  
  
(She slowly walks back inside, only for the TV to switch on. There is a news report with Chet Ubetcha announcing the news.)  
  
Chet: In other news, local resident... (A picture of Tootie appears on the TV, to the real Tootie's surprise and horror.) ...Tootie Walden, only has a few hours left to complete her essay, and yet she continues to goof off.  
  
(He sticks his head out of the TV, further horrifying Tootie.)  
  
Chet: When will she learn?!  
  
Tootie: EEEK!! (She grabs a baseball bat and hits the TV, causing it to shatter and the power to go out. Tootie then lights a candle on a candlestick, before using it to look around the room.)  
  
Voice: Hey, Tootie, over here!  
  
(Tootie shines her candle toward an easy chair, which suddenly has a face and is speaking.)  
  
Chair: Come on, take a seat. Put your feet up and relax...  
  
(Tootie shivers in fear, only for the clock to chime. She drops her candle and looks over at the clock, revealing it to be midnight.)  
  
Tootie: Oh no! Midnight! (She runs through the hallway, hearing alarms go off.) Must, get, back to desk!  
  
(Finally she makes it to her desk, not knowing it is gigantic. She jumps onto her chair, which is also gigantic, then wipes her forehead with her hand.)  
  
Tootie: Phew! That was a close call. (She looks down, only to see that her shirt, skirt, shoes and socks have disappeared, revealing that she’s wearing a light blue nightgown underneath. She winces in shock.) HEY!! What happened to my clothes?!  
  
(Tootie's clothing items, now having a minds of their own, are on the floor.)  
  
Tootie's shirt: Yoo hoo!  
  
Tootie’s skirt: Down here!  
  
Tootie: (gestures to herself) You get up here, I've got to get back to work!  
  
Tootie's clothes: (running to the front door) Freedom!! (Tootie jumps down and chases them.)  
  
Tootie: Stop, clothes! You get back here this instant! (She makes it outside, but doesn't catch her clothes.) Why, you...!!  
  
(The door closes behind her; she tries to open it, but she is locked out of the house. She looks inside to see that her candle from earlier is still lit. Suddenly the clock breaks, along with a mysterious and ghostly voice.)  
  
Clock: Time's up, Tootie... (Then Tootie's candle melts and the flame comes to life, to Tootie's fear.)  
  
Tootie: Burning!!  
  
(The flame takes Tootie's paper and looks at it.)  
  
Flame: Only 799 words to go! (The essay burns away and he runs around the house, burning everything along with some evil laughter.)  
  
Tootie: NO!!! (horrified out of her wits) WHAT HAVE I DONE?! (runs around her now-burning house in fear) HELP!!! HELP!!! MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!  
  
(She continues to run around her house until it finally comes to life and speaks to her.)  
  
Tootie's house: Tootie, why? Why did you set me on fire, Tootie? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST WRITE YOUR ESSAY?! (as Tootie cries loudly in despair) STOP WASTING TIME!!!  
  
(Suddenly Tootie awakens with a squeal of fear and sits up, her paper on her forehead and her pencil on her cheek. She is at her desk again; the fire never happened. It was all just a nightmare. She pulls her pencil off her face.)  
  
Tootie: Where's my essay? (Her essay bends down to her eyes, and she notices.) Oh, there you are. (laughs) Hahaha! I must've dozed off! (She takes the paper and looks at it.) Let's see, where are we?  
  
(The paper still has the word "the" from when she wrote it. She puts down her paper, eyes wide and pupils shrunken in realization.)  
  
Tootie: Do I dare look at the clock?  
  
(She does that, only to realize that it is 8:55. Tootie gasps in panic.)  
  
Tootie: IT'S ALMOST NINE O'CLOCK!!! Class starts in five minutes! (almost starts crying) How am I gonna write this whole paper in five minutes?! How am I supposed to know what not to do in class?  
  
(Suddenly she gets an idea, stops crying and smiles.)  
  
Tootie: Feeding your cat is something not to do in class! (She picks up her pencil and begins writing.) And making a sandwich, and lighting candles, and playing with your chair, and calling your friends, and hitting the TV with a baseball bat, and shooting the breeze with the mailman, and falling asleep...  
  
(Cut to a few minutes later; Tootie is running to Dimmsdale Elementary School, holding her essay in joy.)  
  
Tootie: Mr. Crocker! Mr. Crocker! I'm finished! All 800 words! I'm finished, here it is! (Soon she arrives at her classroom, but nobody is there. Tootie stops and becomes confused.) Huh? Mr. Crocker? Where is everybody?  
  
(Mr. Crocker comes into the room.)  
  
Mr. Crocker: Oh, there you are, Tootie.  
  
Tootie: (shows him her essay) Here you go, Mr. Crocker! 800 words! All about what not to do in class.  
  
Mr. Crocker: I'm sorry, Tootie, I tried to call you. I almost forgot today was a holiday off school.  
  
Tootie: But what about my essay?  
  
Mr. Crocker: Eh, I decided to cancel the assignment. We're just going to take a field trip to the Dimmsdale Public Library on Monday instead. (Tootie brightens up, and then Mr. Crocker walks out of the classroom.) See you next week!  
  
(Tootie looks down at her essay, then smiles widely and rips it up.)  
  
Tootie: Three-day weekend! (She pulls out a kite and runs out of the school to play with it.) Hooray!  
  
(End.)


End file.
